Conversations I Had With My Partner Before We Made It Official

It was 7:00 p.m. We just ate a plate of steamy momos. There were still tears in my eyes. No, no because of the spicy chutney but because of what I had decided at that moment.

I looked at him and said, “Let’s do it”.

Yes, I made it official and began my long-awaited love story. But hey, it’s not that it was the first day. I planned this moment after so many conversations, discussions, and whatnot. ‘Cuz I could not afford to be hurt again.

So, to be on the safer side, I had a number of conversations with my partner. And I’m gonna share some right here.

If you ever find yourself in the dilemma of whether to say Yes or No, have these talks and trust me, things will become much easier.

Let’s start!

1. The Communication Conversation

NGL, I am a person who is just not up for any drama, secrets, or judgment. So, the communication conversation had to be my priority.

I asked him how would he handle a quarrel?

How should I react if he gets angry?

Or what to do if he does something that bothers me A LOT?

Asking all this helped me understand his communication style. It also gave me a chance to tell him what he can expect out of me. Now, I know that I can rely on him when I am upset. (He is so cute!) And that he would not give me the silent treatment when things go haywire.

2. The Sex Conversation

No, it wasn’t just about the main thing but about our likes and dislikes. It’s probably a good idea to find out what your partner expects from you. After all, no matter how much we deny it, sexual compatibility can make or break a relationship.

So, we talked about our fantasies, fetishes, or any other desires. Also, sex conversation should also be about affection — kissing, hugging, holding hands, and everything you do to show your love.

If you are doing this conversation, put aside your judgemental thoughts and be shameless. *wink wink*

3. The Money Conversation

Honestly, this was the most difficult part. Talking about money has always made me uncomfortable. But zaruri hai to zaruri hai.

So, I began by noticing how he spends and how he saves. Later on, I shot direct questions like “Are you are a saver or a spender? Have you thought of investing? What are your financial goals for the future? And so on.

When you are there in the moment, you’ll know what to ask based on what you want. Just make sure you do ask and ask early.

4. The Feminist Conversation

Yes, I asked this too. Can’t really get along with a guy who doesn’t understand my ideologies, right? The inner feminist in me just wouldn’t allow that.

So, I jotted down all my questions and asked him directly. Here are some:

“What are your thoughts about feminism?”

“How would we divide our earrings for the financial contribution at home?”

“What if I don’t want kids, would you support me?”

“Would you share the household responsibilities?”

“Who is an ideal wife according to you?”

“How would you feel if I earn more than you?”

You can create your own questions depending on what impacts you the most.

Wait, There’s More

The conversations didn’t end here. I also asked him:

· “What if our jobs take us to different cities?”

· “What are your plans for marriage?”

· “What do you think about my friends?”

· “I am a traveler. How would you feel about my solo trips?”

· “What are your views on cheating?”

· “Are you religious?”

· “What are your political views?”

I know it all seems too much but isn’t making a relationship official a big step? These questions certainly made my chaotic head calm.

It’s time you get that clarity too. Wish you luck!